I intend to make this the last post of my blog, unless someone wants me to write about something specific. This is basically where things stand for me right now.
Now from reading the previous blogs, in case you thought I have become this awesome player dude, then you were wrong. I am far from one. I am a very average guy in most respects. If you had to ask me numbers, I am going to say around seven for the year, including some I might get while on vacation, which is definitely easier. This number is based on the past few months where combined average is a little more than a girl a month. However some of those were extremely lucky and random, so I have downgraded that and extrapolated to arrive at this number.
I have a high pressure job which I love, I have friends and hobbies and also like to focus on my career. Thus I don't go out crazy amounts. I am also presently living in a conservative city where cold approaching is not taken well.
The main thing now is that I don't beat myself over the fact that I may not get girls all the time. I know now its really random and severely restricted by my environment and genetics. So I don't beat myself over it. I now go about my life, and when I see women who seem to be giving me the signals, I go talk to them. You might call it a very low risk approach, but I am actually very happy with the numbers I manage with this approach. Plus, this eliminates getting tons of rejection which I definitely feel is damaging for anyone's psyche over an extended period of time.
I am focusing more on my career these days, working out, my hobbies and building a reasonable social life. When going out, my primary focus is looking good. This has had a tremendously positive effect on my love life. Also, now that I am not so focused on doing the right thing (I still tend to make this mistake a lot), social life is actually a lot more fun than it has ever been.
Admittedly, I might get more women if I consciously went out and was aggressive about my love life, but this keeps me happy. I now believe that if I just keep myself in shape, wear nice clothes, I will always have girls for me.
Honestly, that was all I ever wanted out of this whole PUA thing to begin with. I know some guys have targets like I want to bang 100 chicks, or get lots of threesomes etc. but my primary goal to begin with was just that I should not feel that getting girls is a tough job, or if the current girl goes away, I will have a very hard time getting a new girl etc. I have more than achieved that. Thus, I am happy with it.
The primary goal now is to get rid of the remaining PUA weirdness from my head and of course, banging new chicks and having fun is never boring :)
Wait, 7-8 new chicks a year you have sex with?
ReplyDeleteI should probably elaborate a bit. I have average about a girl a month for the past few months since I have been reasonably detoxed from PUA. So I am just extrapolating. But yeah, around a new girl a month is what I have averaged for the past few months.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I want to emphasize that I don't do only cold approaches.
Dude, a new chick every month puts you in the top 0.001% of the male population.
DeleteThe average lifetime partners in Europe is like 8 chicks in a lifetime, so 8 a year is like rock star level.
Ok, then I should maybe downplay this number a bit. A lot of these girls I have casually known for a few months now, and they were literally waiting to be closed. One I got while on vacation in South east Asia for a week (not a hooker). Another girl was here on vacation. But I am not sure if I will be sustain this rate for rest of the year :)
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your truthful account on pickup. I agree wholeheartedly with some of the issues you raised with PUA such as cultural and ethnical social conditions which vary from country to country.
ReplyDeleteThis particular issue gets downplayed all the time and is usually omitted by mainstream pickup advice, under the guise that "women are women are women" everywhere. Bullshit.
The pickup retard scamming gurus who base their business around seduction in different countries like Roosh, miss the point entirely. Like you said, if a girl likes you, game doesn't matter for shit. Completely unnecessary.
As usual, what works isn't sexy, and what isn't sexy doesn't sell as well. Apply this to other areas like business, strength training, sports, etc. and it goes without saying.
In my experience trying to control every aspect of an interaction and holding the burden of being completely responsible for creating attraction by gaming or adopting certain behaviors is just insane.
It's quite liberating to realize that you can't control whether a girl is attracted to you or whether she will like you. This is what in my opinion makes most grown ass men who try pickup look like creepy social retards.
Thanks for your account on Rob Judge. Hopefully others can read this before dishing out $2k on a bootcamp when they can have the time of their lives with that money on a trip to somewhere exotic.
I am glad you found this of use. I believed in the whole "women are women everywhere" thing, but there were clearly fundamental problems with that approach.
DeleteI realized this when a few friends repeatedly asked me how I was fucking it up with some fantastic girls when it was obvious to everyone that the girl in question liked me a lot! But I had all these stupid PUA ideas in my head about how the situation should go down.
Hey Johnny,
ReplyDeleteNice blog you´ve got! Did you really take a bootcamp with Rob Judge? I always though he was somewhat legit...
Yeah, I too thought he was fairly legit - that is why I took a boot camp with him. It is still surprising that it was so useless because even now, I would say Rob comes across as a fairly nice and down-to-earth guy in person. But maybe that's just because I effectively paid him to be nice.
DeleteSo you got nothing from his coaching? Just asking because I am thinking of hiring him to speed up my learning curve...or do you think that would be stupid?
DeleteGiven my experience, I can't in my right mind recommend those guys. Overall, I think they wasted a few precious months of my life. For phone coaching, maybe you could give Sleazy a try?
DeleteIf you are considering in-field coaching, I would not really recommend that unless some legit dude offers it to you at a serious discount.
If you are not getting a discount then I strongly believe that a package of a fashion consulting session, a set of lessons of either partner dancing or acting and lastly some fitness lessons like Krav Maga (if you are over weight) would do you really good. Much much better than any in-field coaching and would end up costing much less.
Got referred to you by Sleazy's blog.
ReplyDeleteGenerous offering of insights in here !
Worthwhile for many to think about. Including me.
Well done !
Hey Johnny, great blog. I agree with a lot of what you wrote regarding the PUA community though I do believe that some of the material that community turns you onto is worthwhile from a self-development point of view.
ReplyDeleteHave you read the book "Mode One" by Allan Roger Currie? I think if someone would have given me that book back in high school (were it available), it would have severely cut down the time I spent reading bullshit and trying out weird methodologies.
My 2c
Dave
My concern with all things PUA and everything related to it is that 5% is of it is legit and useful, 95% is crap. Imagine if someone asked you to review a movie which was mostly BS, only good for 10 minutes. Would you recommend that movie - most likely not.
DeleteI think the same goes for most of the self-development stuff most PUAs preach. Most of it is just downright crap. Also, the fact that it is advised as something which will help your results with women, is highly questionable. When PUAs advise books like Selfish Gene and Tolle to understand women, then you have a clear problem. So yeah, I am not a fan of this self-development stuff by PUAs.
I have not read Mode One so can't comment on that.
While I agree that they take things too far, I would say that reading good books makes you a more well-rounded person and intelligence has a lot to do with being aware of thee world around you. Not that you have to be smart or even seen as smart to "get girls", but the quality of the people you can have in your life can certainly depend on how you're perceived.
DeleteI think taking a completely opposite view is probably just as big of a fallacy as well.
Dave
I think you misunderstood what I said. I am not saying reading books is crap, or you should not attempt to have hobbies in life, or not focus on any self-development, or not being a well-rounded person. I just mean the context in which all this preached is bullshit.
DeleteAs an example, I remember reading on some PUA forum where a guy said that you should read Wikipedia a lot because it will make your conversations more interesting. Or some xyz book because it will help you in some indirect way with chicks. This point of view, is not helpful at all.
One should read books, if you like reading them (I personally do). Attend dance lessons if you like or want to learn how to dance. Attend improv classes if you like or want to do it. If these things start feeling like work, or you hate doing them, then you have a problem
Thanks for your honest, no-ego recount of what happened. Helped me put a lot into perspective while detaching myself from all this PUA nonsense (and much self-development nonsense in general).
ReplyDeleteTake care,
Jase
Hello Johnny,
ReplyDeleteI can relate to you in your bootcamp experience. I might even write up my own blog to describe this industry's flaws. I don't know if you care or not, but to sum up my bootcamp:
1) I did not get laid
2) I still am not getting laid.
In my opinion, bootcamps are our time's "love potions." In other words, they are this century's scam. Here's why
1) You're "learning" to get laid. Are you actually getting some? Just like a love potion, maybe you're improving yourself, but when exactly are you getting action?
2) Instructors are under no pressure to do a good job. Sure there are money back guarantees, but apparently in this industry, there are hidden clauses that stop you from doing so. If I could turn back time I would ask for my money back. This industry would be better if instructors were held to a get laid or we dont get paid policy. They should do it since they claim they are good with women.
3) Bootcamps only last for a couple of days. Who's going to keep you accountable for your work in the next 3 months? In all skills, if you stop practicing, you will slowly lose your gains. What makes this different from pick up?
4) Bootcamps have a poor student-instructor ratio. In my bootcamp, I have seen sucker...I mean students standing around doing nothing. At least in a 1 on 1 you won't have the problem of wasting time and money standing around. I unfortunately cannot comment any more on 1 on 1s since I never had one, but I'm pretty sure there are weaknesses in 1 on 1s.
Conclusion: I read in your blog that you should only take a bootcamp if it's at a discount.. Given my preceding points, I think it's better off if you don't take a bootcamp at all. If you truly want to take a WS consider all my points and factor in the price of the workshop.
Hey man, you raise very valid points. I would encourage you at least write about your bootcamp experience in detail, including the name of who you took it with. Details like what were your goals coming in, what were you promised, how did the actual bootcamp go down and what happened after.
DeleteEven if you don't write about other details, definitely write about this. I think a huge part of the reason why a lot of these coaches are able to get away with bullshit is because there aren't enough people writing in detail about their experience with these bootcamps/phone coaching sessions.
I know 2 people who took coaching with Rod Judge and who looking back, hated the experience. These guys never bothered writing about it or telling many people about this. Imagine if you googled "CoachXYZ review" or "PUA bootcamp experience" and what came up was a whole bunch of links describing how people felt conned, then I am sure many people would be very careful before taking one of these.
So yeah, go for it man. Write about it.
Hey Johnny,
ReplyDeleteI don't want to name drop, but what I have pretty much stated about bootcamps were why I'm not going to do another bootcamp again. To recap:
1) Bad student-instructor ratios=idle students
2) Instructors under no pressure to perform
3) Bootcamps only last for a couple of days. If you want to get good you have to practice.
But what I forgot to mention:
1) My bootcamp was a four digit amount...shit I could have went on vacation and had more fun.
2) It was just some minor details, but there were times I wished the instructor did certain things that could have made my life better. For example, I remember this one guy who was tooling me and I wished the instructor could have stood up for me. There were other instances but I don't want to get into them.
^^^Given everything I've said, you can see why guys get frustrated; bootcamps may provide money, but they sure as hell don't help guys get laid. Which is why I propose a get laid or we don't get policy.
The instructor didnt promise anything...but the company claimed it was going to be a life changing experience. BS. Even though I'm not going to name drop, you and I are in the know that bootcamps are a waste of time and money. I guess that will have to be sufficient.