Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Constantly social women

For most practical purposes, I have completely stopped reading any PUA site/PUA blog. However, if anytime I do read something (http://sinnsofattraction.blogspot.in/2012/04/girls-as-options-traders.html) I get enraged at the bullshit which people write and seriously makes me question if we are indeed living in the same real world.

I want to write about one these notions which exists in PUA about how "attractive women" are supposedly always going out, they are always meeting other guys, if you plan dates - it better be on a Monday or a Tuesday night because her social calendar is so bloody full or every other day, better do something super interesting so that she is compelled to say yes, send out clever date invites like "up for a game of pool with NYC weirdos and soccer moms" (this is from my favorite PUA coach Rob Judge), if you don't make yourself sound really interesting then well she meets all these other guys who she is going to fuck instead etc. etc.

Well I don't know which world do these PUA coaches live in but in my world, going out a lot and being social needs time, energy and most importantly, MONEY! If a girl has money to go out a lot, that would usually mean she has a decent job, which by default means she won't have all the time in world. The only activity I imagine may not need money is if a girl goes clubbing where she can mooch off of some club promoter. That's it.

Theory apart, my own experience says that most women keep complaining a lot about how they never meet any decent guy, have not gone on a serious date for a while, haven't got laid in a while (I am sure a lot of guys would have experienced this that when they start having sex with a new girl, a lot of times it seems like she just can't get enough of it). It's a huge reason why girls when they get into a relationship just don't want to let go because to find another decent guy is a lot of work. The percentage of girls who are constantly out, constantly socializing, always going out on dates etc. is very very small (I am going to estimate this number is in single digits).

Now lets talk about my own "social calendar". I work a stressful job on the weekdays and so I am usually a bit tired after work and don't exactly possess lots and lots of energy. I have hobbies which I pursue which needs time, I have normal friends which I like to meet as well. So well, I don't exactly have a lot of time on weekdays. Plus, I am not going to schedule everything in my life around meeting women.

Now lets talk about scheduling dates. Schedule them whenever the fuck you are free. If you are only free during the weekends, ask her out on the weekends. If she is not free and assuming she likes you, you guys will be able to figure out a time which works for both of you. If she lives far from you, well of course you won't schedule it next to your place. This is not so that you make it easy for her to say yes (This sounds too much like oh please lord, I hope she says yes), but simply because you want something which works for both of you! (At least that is what normal human beings do)

This is a concept which somehow PUAs never seem to understand. Dating only works if BOTH OF YOU WANT IT. If she likes you, she wants to meet you to, she wants to go out on a date with you and thus she will work with you not against. You are not working against the girl nor are you trying to sneakily get her to say yes, nor are you sneakily going to put your dick inside her pussy without her realizing it. So just fucking stop trying to be so clever and put so much pressure on yourself.

All of the dates I have been on, the girls are extremely happy to work with you to arrange a mutually convenient time and place. This is normal person behavior. If you read PUA articles it would start seeming like if you find a normal girl who does these things, then you have found someone special. I assure you that's not the case. Normal people are the norm and not crazy weirdos.

One other thing I want to mention. Look at the article I referenced. It's a very typical example of how they sweep 99% percent of what matters under the rug and focus on the 1%. In this article, he says ignore cases where you emotionally connected with the girl or she is new to town or she doesn't know many people or you met her through friends or she is single or actively looking to date. So basically, he is giving advice on what to do about women who you did not emotionally connect with, she is not new to town, she knows a lot of people, you did not meet her through friends, she is not single and not actively looking to date. I leave you to decide how much is wrong with that.


  1. PUAs have the belief that they can get any girl they want once they get elite skillz. So when a girl doesn't wanna see the them, they try to trick her into seeing them.

    If you're a normal person, you need to accept that not all girl who give you their number will want to see you. It's as simple as that. The fact is, most girls on this planet are NOT interested in you and will never be interested in you. But the small percentage who are will be enough to keep you happy.

    PUA is about the ego (get any girl you want!). If you've been brainwashed by PUA you need to shift your focus to finding a satisfactory love life that works with your lifestyle and forget trying to seduce anyone and everyone.

    1. Yes, don't punch above your own weight, just find someone who also likes you.

      On any given day, literally tens of millions of people across the world are having sex. From 13 year olds unable to drive to the elderly in nursing homes and everyone in-beteween. They did it without seminars, bootcamps, or expensive DVDs.

      There is nothing esoteric about this.

  2. A good point. A lot of the theories and beliefs about "women" in the PUA community are extremely weird if applied to the average hot chick... they simply don't fit.

    It's almost as if they are basing their theories on Paris Hilton and Kardashian (socialites, daughters of millionaires & billionaires).

    This guy has noticed a similar trend:

    I think in general it has to do with social inexperience. A lot of these weird PUA theories obviously have a basis in fantasizing about women based on tv and porn and who knows what, as most of these theories are disproven with even minimal woman-experience in the real world.

    1. Very true. In the article I referenced by Sinn, he gives an example that women go to openings and wedding showers! I don't know many cities of the world in which openings happen, nor do I know many who have actually been to one, forget going to them regularly.

      The other weird thing is that even if they based it on Paris Hilton/Kardashian/whatever, if it was based on actual real world experience obtained through regular social interactions - it might actually be of use to people. Sadly, most of it is based on theorizing.

  3. The most appropriate phrase in all this is---"decent guy"
    girls are notoriously choosy and they would rather not have sex for 6 months than choose a potential bastard - women can easily hold out on sex for a long long time

    1. I think it depends on the girl. Some girls really want to just fuck, and too without wasting time. With some of these girls, they literally don't have patience for a guy who wants to "take it slow".

      Others certainly want to take it slow and are very picky.