Friday, 9 March 2012

PUA coaching experirnce - Part 1

Since I decided that I need to get better game, what better way than to hire a coach. I was still guy who was very careful with money, so I found an Asian guy who seemed a bit legit, and he charged me $30/hour for a one-on-one.

Going out with him was a decent intro to PUA. He was reasonably well dressed with his clothes matching the general lifestyle and personality he wanted to convey. He was also fairly aggressive. The problem was that his style and my personality were literally at the opposite ends of the spectrum. He was extremely poor, ate pizza slices to fill his stomach, loved dressing like a hippie, had plenty of time in his life etc.

Having said that, he was fairly legit. We went out, he critiqued me on my approaches, did not get too deep into minor details, suggested I join an improv class etc. Still, what he was suggesting was something that worked for him and not for me.

Again, there was some red flags where I should have realized that this PUA stuff was not worth it. He showed me pics of a lot of the girls he slept with. Most of them were girls I would not bother approaching, let alone sleep with. The random girls which had liked me, were all better than almost every single girl which he showed me. Again, I did not connect the dots that if it was just about fucking any girl which comes your way, then you don't need anything for that!

I did more approaches and more of the same stuff. Random girls liking me without doing anything. When I tried to do something, it came across very weird and nothing worked. Thus felt that I needed to better my game. Hire a better coach.

There was one good thing happening all this while in my life which kept me somewhat grounded and I think helped me get back to normal life much faster. I had a strong interest in partner dances so I joined some dance lessons. The whole environment was so different here. People were warm, many girls were gorgeous, girls usually outnumbered guys, they had good personalities and whole environment was awesome. Again, I had read on a few PUA blogs that cold approaching is much better than social circle and you don't want to come across as a creep there, thus I never bothered with girls who hit on me at class.

I should have realized that for normal guys, you won't come across as a creep. The only think you needed to do was just ASK them out on a date. That's it. They like you, they have seen you plenty of times at classes, they have seen you interact with people, they trust you quite a bit, they are comfortable with you - it's perfect. But no, I had to do this PUA shit. I wanted to feel that I have this special power. That I am above normal guys. That they don't understand what I can do, that they can't do what I do.


  1. This blog is a blessing. It struck me on many levels

  2. This is a total side note, but I wanted to get into partner dancing myself but not to meet girls, but because I love to dance. Can you recommend your favorite dance schools in NY. I don't want to waste time going to too many just to find one I like.

    Thanks, this blog is great and you're doing a wonderful service.

    1. Haha, if you get into partner dancing, the only way you won't meet girls is if you purposely don't want to do it. Otherwise, you just won't be able to help it.

      It depends on which form of partner dancing you want to do. If you are not sure, then you can give DanceSport a try. Its located in Midtown, its a huge school and has teachers for practically every form of dance. Its primarily a place which is best known for competitive partner dancing though. In case that is what you want to try - Dancesport and Dance Times Square are good places.

      For social dancing, Argentine Tango - Triangulo is a good school to start learning. It is an exclusive tango place and you will meet lots of people. Not great instruction though. Adam and Ciko in my view are the best. For Salsa, I would recommend Frankie Martinez. For other forms, you will have ask someone else.

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